Marine LeQuac Announces She Will Oppose Battaleon in 2014 Elections

Marine LeQuac - EN-UF

Marine LeQuac, who was a legislative nobody last month, has now come to public attention as the most viable proponent against immigration and as the front runner of the opposition to Battaleon.

As a member of the EN-UF right-wing party, she has begun leading demonstrations against Londonistani refugees in Quacbec. She has also pursued initiating legislation for a nationwide ban of the burquaq --a traditional lavender scarf worn by geese.

On the steps of Parliament, outside and in the public eye of Quacbec, Marine spoke in front of a group of followers the very news that they had been hoping to hear for a long time:

"Fellow ducks and true citizens of Quacbec. You know why I am here and you must understand the gravity of the situation. We have been invaded. We have been invaded by the impure. They are seeking to impose on our liberty and our right to live in an all-duck society!

Marine Announces She Will Run

The current administration has turned a blind eye. While we, the Quacbecois, are suffering from the hardships and hate of ungrateful and disrespectful geese. Battaleon has gone to a plot of land we do not want to fight with an enemy that we could care less for. The enemy is here.

The cancer in our society is these geese! These geese who came here to take our work. These geese who came here to not assimilate to our ways. These geese who came here to wear their clothes and speak their language instead of ours.

These geese need to be destroyed. And I will destroy them! I therefore, Madame Secretary, announce that I, Marine LeQuac, shall run for the leadership of Battaland!"

Immediately upon the acceptance of her nomination, the followers of Marine LeQuac began to chant "Heil Marine! Heil Marine! Heil Marine!" and praise her on a loquacious speech of bravery.