Abdel-Aziz Al-Sw3anoud : Sw3ania will be in Chaos for Years

King Abdel-Aziz Al-Sw3anoud

In Quacbec, the newest resident is also one of the richest ducks on the planet. So rich, he is a swan. Abdel-Aziz Al-Sw3anoud, the former monarch of the Al-Sw3anoud dynasty, has much to say. First, he is happy that there was a coup in his country.

"Look, I did not represent the people. Nor could I see how the world is changing. The world was the same for 500 years and suddenly modernized in the last 30. I could not facilitate this to my country"

Said the monarch, who gleefully invited reporters into the sitting room of his palace. Immediately, four servants came in and began serving tea and biscuits.

"The second thing is, I miss my country. Dearly. The sun rises in Sw3ania like no other place in the world."

After a brief statement, and his first public address since the abdication, Al-Sw3anoud thanked Battaleon for inviting him and keeping him safe. Knowing Saquack Hussein "a ruthless monster" personally, the king feared his life would be in danger or possible extradition. Despite his barbarian violence, Saquack was perhaps the most internationally well connected duck he ever met.

And again, despite his violent behavior, Saquack was able to keep order in Sw3ania. The Mujahaquack was too afraid of him to rebel, and the ducks of Londonistan found him to be charismatic and progressive. In all fairness, Saquack was the best leader for Sw3ania.

When asked about the current violence, Al-Sw3anoud expressed that he saw no end in sight. "There's just too much going on, in which, the progressive and modern ones have no muscle, and the muscular strong ones have no ability to run a state."

Abdel-Aziz Al-Sw3anoud wishes Umrika luck in establishing a democracy, but feels it is a waste of resources. Sw3ania -- or Battastan as they now call themselves -- are too different and unique to work out a one unified state. Too many moving parts. This will be a violent place for years to come.

Regarding Donald Duck, Al-Sw3anoud told reporters that he considered Donald to be a loose canon and a "psychopath". The king referenced his former ownership of a large film collection, which included some reels of Donald's earlier comedies. Donald apparently had hired private contract soldiers to steal and destroy the films on three separate occasions -- 1979, 1983 and 1984. All of which being unsuccessful.