ISIS is Coming to Battaland!

ISIS Batta Heading to Battaland

Only a week after Battaleon has returned to power as emperor of Battaland, ISIS -- the terrorist group located in Syria & Iraq -- have formally stated in a leaked video that they will next be preparing to invade Battaland.

In a leaked video posted to YouTube, Quakeed Al-Zahbatta announced that ISIS will be flying to Battaland and beginning a staged series of attacks. ISIS pledged to conquer Quacbec in 100 days and establish religious law in Battaland.

In a preemptive response, Battaleon ordered that the airports be closed down. Armed militias of the Grande Army have been called up and now stand on patrol. After the wars between Sw3ania in the early 1990s, there is a no-man's land between Battaland and the Kingdom of Sw3ania. Intelligence from the CIQuack reports that ISIS will most likely attack from out of no-man's land.

As many citizens of Battaland received the news in panic, Battaleon took it upon himself to address the people and assure them that he will do all he can to prevent the non-grata group ISIS into Battaland. "We will stand firm against this outside threat of invasion. Our lakes are our lakes. We will not change our laws or give in to the pressures of these criminals!"

Battaleon Addresses Battaland

The 3rd army battalion has been deployed in anticipation of impending conflict. In Battaleon's speech, he spoke about stopping the terrorists before they came within our borders. Rationing on corn will not be applied, nor will the country change any affect upon citizens. Reserve soldiers have not been called up, however, anticipation for further orders of standby have been issued in case the threat ensues.

ISIS currently has a strong presence in Iraq and Syria, but has not yet made a noticeable presence outside the Shams region.