Ayatollah Quaqmeini - Supreme Leader of Battastan

Many gather outside the White House in Hollywood 

The Mujaquaqdin has conquered Londonistan. Meeting with a weak army of ducks, the Mujaquaqdin took no prisoners as they raided the city and burned down the parliament. They also took it upon themselves to attack and burn down the Umrikan embassy. It is unclear if all the embassy workers have escaped and were brought to safety.

Only hours ago, the Umrikan army received orders from Hollywood that it was time to go. Soldiers were flown out, much to the dismay of the people and parliament of Londonistan fearing the militant threats of invasion from the Mujaquaqdin. During the rule of King Abdel-Aziz Al-Sw3anoud, relationships between Umrika and Mamlukum Sw3ania thrived. With a brief upset during the years of Saquack Hussein, Umrika was determined to establish a thriving democracy in oil rich Battastan.

However, an uprising of a militant geese terrorist group -- the Mujaquaqdin -- has firmly put an end to all hopes of democracy. As many Umrikans stand outside in protest at the White House, located in the Umrikan capital city of Hollywood, Battastan sits closely to hail a new leader.

Ayatollah Ali Quaqmeini

Ayatollah Ali Quaqmeini, leader of the Mujaquaqdin, took seat in the former house of rule belonging to the Sw3anoud ruling family. He set up a live televised address in which he announced that Battastan has strayed far too much into the western ways and away from the rudimentary religious fundamentalism that has been the heritage and pride of Battastan.

He first criticized the liberals and moderns for betraying the whole of Battastan. He announced that Saquack Hussein was the shaytan of their sciences and western academic influence. He said that the only true science or academics were that of the Gees3a 3ali. The tradition and religious ways of the Geese of Battastan.

He announced, however, that should the ducks and the academic geese and ducks put aside their practices of evil -- they will be spared and welcomed into the Theocratic Republic of Battastan. He furthermore announced that the representation of government will be tribal and religious. While only Gees3a 3ali may serve in the government, this is open to all geese of all tribes.

"Through the strong and correct traditions of Gees3a 3ali, we shall prepare a most perfect nation." said Ayatollah Quaqmeini.

He then began to announce western technologies and instruments of evil that would be forbidden in the country --- television, radio, cell phones, credit-cards, filtered water, cars, books (besides the Holy Book of Geese), science, penicillin, wheelchairs and electricity. These would all be banned. However, petroleum drilling will be expanded upon in the desert and so will exportation of these products.