How Donald Duck Un Funds the Mujahaquack

Donald Duck Un

Donald Duck Un, current supreme leader of North Battaland, has publicly affirmed his support for the Mujahaquack over the Mujaquackdin. He has threatened that the work of his great-grandfather will not stop but continue to flourish under his own regime.

Donald Duck had funded several terrorist facilities in the Ad-Damman region of Battastan. From here, Donald created a group that he personally funded known as the Mujahaquack under leader Quackeed Al-Zahbatta.

Al-Zahbatta, under alliance with Ali Quackmeini, took the oil fields and capital city of Londonistan from the Umrikan forces that had just ousted Saquack Hussein. Ali Quackmeini of the Mujaquackdin betrayed Quackeed Al-Zahbatta and took power as Ayatollah of all Battastan.

Quackeed Al-Zahbatta has been employing several elements of guerrilla warfare in the southern areas of Battastan -- areas traditionally inhabited by the nomadic geese of the area. It is believed that Quackeed Al-Zahbatta is hiding in caves among the desert mountains here.

Donald Duck Un has inherited one of the largest personal fortunes on the planet, as compiled by his great-grandfather. The CIQuack discovered an intricate banking system involving off-shore funds within the Cayman islands accepting money from Pyongquack.

Right now, and since the early 1980s, there has been a currency ban on the North Battaland Donalder which was frozen at a rate of 56 Donalders to 1 Umrikan Dollar (0.01 Battalouis D'Or). Umrika, Canarda, and Battaland all agreed not to accept or trade with North Battaland and begin a currency and trade embargo.

However, classical banking friendly nations like the Swiss and Cayman Islands, remained open for business and accepting Donalders. From here, Donald himself moved over $34bn which he converted into Swiss Francs and British Pounds.

Donald actually bet against the United Kingdom switching to the Euro and believed they would vote to opt out. On this day alone, Donald made an estimated 5-6 billion dollars.

In 2001, the Umrikan government issued a warrant to the Swiss government that they needed to reveal all account information with Donald's bank accounts set up in their country. The Swiss froze Donald's accounts, and the Umrikan government collected nearly $800bn which Donald had been using to fund terrorist activities that now operate solely from accounts owned by North Battaland in the Cayman Islands. It is believed that Donald may actually own the Cayman Islands in secret.

From the Cayman Islands, money is wired into Canarda. From Canarda, Battastani members of the Mujahaquack pick up deposits of funds in Toronto but have it arrive in Umrikan dollars. The Mujahaquack take this physical money into Battastan across the border and head southward into the desert. The money is used to buy weapons and other items for the terrorist activities there.

The system of couriers is so carefully strewn together that not one has ever been caught. In 2001, while investigating Donald's Swiss accounts, they also put a monitor on all activity of Umrikan dollar transfers in Canarda. Donald -- with the little he had left undetected in Switzerland -- had that money picked up individually by different agents in Switzerland, then transferred in small doses from Switzerland, Czech Republic, and Italy to Canarda over the past 12 years. This money was transfered privately by his agents in Europe to agents in Canarda.

Donald's money laundering scheme is one of the most complex and largest in the world. Now, Donald Duck Un, his heir, will be continuing matters and funding the Mujahaquack in warfare against Battastan.