Battaleon Escapes from Elba!

In an astonishing set of event, perhaps forever shrouded, the former emperor of Quacbec, Battaleon, has escaped from exile in Elba! He was spotted on the shores of Battarouge where he boarded a plane headed up for Quacbec International Airport.

Sources close to Battaleon suggest that he had a secret signal from Spanish ships circling the channel. Spain -- a former ally of Battaleon Quacaparte -- had captains loyal to him, measuring the tides. Somehow, Battaleon was able to make a raft and board one of these Spanish ships, taking him to Madrid before flying to Battarouge in Louisiana.

Reporters swamped the former emperor and asked where he was going. He said that he was destined for Quacbec, the only country for him and the country of the ducks.

In fearful anticipation, Battalouis XVIII has fled from Quacbec and is said to be headed to London. After being made king, Battalouis XVIII's regime has become rather unpopular through oppressive decisions taken on by the king.

Of course, only 10 years ago, Battalouis XVIII's older brother and absolute monarch of ducks, Battalouis XVI, was beheaded in a reign of terror.

ISIS Declares Caliphate

The Middle East is changing. Amid chaos and destruction, the former oppressive governments of Syria and Iraq are falling further away from stabilization. This is nothing new or unexpected, however. This is exactly as Plato's Republic affixes an end to democracy.

A democracy begins with a population seeking representation, and receiving it. But as the population becomes complacent, the government buys up freedoms and liberties from its people. Until the government sits as a tumor upon society, sucking up resources and oppressing the people for no greater goal than to expand itself as an entity and take further control over the people.

At long last, the people will have had enough. They will rise up and even become violent to attain the rights that they demand. They will soon find popular leaders, who stand affront spearheading their ideas. But those people should never be trusted. They themselves only want to become masters of men -- worse than the ignorant and non-sentient government of a democracy. Upon the promise of rights, these dictators come to power, and like a virus that grows stronger upon mutation, the dictator will become harder to topple than before.

Chaos will ensue. The dictators of ISIS in Iraq and Syria will never grow strong enough to rule over the entire country. Their own desires for more will lead to more disorder and chaos. From chaos, however, the people will be forced to educate themselves. With education and understanding of human nature, the people will learn that the only way they can thrive is to work together. To create an independent society of their own, where they will stand united on principles.

This is not an advocate for communism or socialism. In fact, nothing can be a more pure form of failure. In such a system the only winners are big conglomerate businesses and corrupt politicians --which become the entire government. In socialism, the government essentially promises a private company that they will get a personal guarantee for XYZ$ funds for performing a job. Theoretically this is perfect...but the company, now guaranteed payment, has no incentive to follow through with the job or even an incentive to complete it and dedicate resources. Socialism degrades creativity and hinders free thinking. It develops in followers a "why bother" attitude. 

For the Middle East, a land of a thousand and one opinions, democracy cannot work. Socialism cannot bring about happiness for this society. A dictator will only lead to more chaos. Syria and Iraq are too far away from a time where a monarchy would work. For now there is only one solution --and the best solution of all -- the people themselves will need to realize that they have to work together as neighbors to achieve what they want, and leave religion to rule over only within their own sphere of influence.

Haneen Meets with British Soldiers

Haneen poses with a soldier

Last night, British soldiers came to a fascinating surprise! At their military base, an Israeli minister of the Parliament (Knesset) arrived in the United Kingdom! She was greeted with open arms. Haneen is on a good will mission among the British people, to stir up international support for herself and her political views.

Haneen was elected first to the Israeli parliament in 2009. She has been outspoken in her views to teach people that "Hamas is a peace-loving organization". Something which the amount of rockets they launch futilely into Israel, and death threats to civilians, logically contradicts.

Haneen on back of a British Soldier

On this fun filled adventure, British soldiers gathered with their surprise guest to go out and have a little summer fun. First stop was a tour of the famous English countryside in which Haneen was so happy to engage in a game of fetch. In fact, in 2004, Haneen joined the International Club of Extreme Fetch (ICEF) which has a championship match every two years across the globe. Last year, an Egyptien named "Collie Baba" won.

Haneen in sunglasses

Next, the British soldiers took Haneen to the beaches of Dover. This is the famous spot where many an air battle was fought in the Second World War. According to Haneen, it is a shame that the British were not wiped out and defeated. "Obviously the actions of the German government were exactly what the British people needed to live a happy life, but the lies of Churchill convinced them against the beloved and gentle Hitler."

One of the soldiers disagreed, stating that the Germans bombed Britain on several occasions, to which Haneen replied "No, no. Those are Zionist rumors and inventions of the United States."

Haneen posing with Batta

Lastly, Haneen joined the soldiers on a duck hunting trip. This was her favorite part of the trip. At the end of the day, the British soldiers in total had taken 8 ducks. However Haneen shot down 12! When asked how she was so talented at the duck shooting, Haneen said  "I pictured each duck as a young child of a different religion than my own, which made it easy to shoot down."

It is unclear when Haneen will return to the UK, however, the British soldiers will not forget their visit with this famous duck hunter!

Happy 238th Anniversary!

In 1776, a group of patriotic freedom fighters gathered in Pennsylvania in the city of Philadelphia. Why there of all places? It was ideally located between Virginia and Massachusetts, the two colonies mainly involved in the conflict of Independence against the mighty Great Britain.

There was more than just one goal at the convention of those thirteen colonies in 1776, and each goal was achieved successfully beyond belief. In a time of tyrants, the representatives of the thirteen colonies dreamed of a nation of free thoughts and fully open to improving a nation of brothers.

On July 4th, 1776, it was announced that these representatives had prepared a message -- in the form of a letter -- and while it was pertinent to their immediate situation, this letter was written as an eternal truth for the rights of man.

These representatives only found support from a third of the citizens of the thirteen colonies. Another third supported the crown, and a final third were neutral. What these representatives did was a remarkable performance of bravery and sacrifice for the greater progress of man's story.

This letter announced that the government of a people should be subject to the peoples' desires and needs. Like a giant functionary committee. Its military should serve to protect and defend its people. And the purpose of this entity should be to make life better for its people.

This letter was the declaration of Independence and was signed in due form by 56 courageous men.

This document established a free land, giving a mission statement for the patriotic men who put their lives on the line. As we know this country was created, 238 years ago, and today we should be proud to represent the product of so long a making.

But we must heed the words of one of the signers, pictured above. Benjamin Franklin said "Those who choose safety over freedom deserve neither and lose both". He is right. As we Americans must realize it is our duty to inform ourselves about the great gifts our country has given to us. And the great fears of blindly listening to things that do not matter. A strong and sturdy economy is much more necessary, which most all Americans agree with, than whether abortions are allowed or not allowed or if the military should use drones or not. Those need to be put aside. We cannot plan how to limit or expand our social platforms until we solidify the economy --the insulation of our very country -- we received the perfect nation building documents in 1776 and again in 1789.

Let us continue in the message of liberty and freedom from the founding fathers, happy 238th!

Welcome to Our Ftour!

Ftour and Iftar are Arabic words for breakfast, whereas Ftour is the more popular term to use in Morocco. The same words also denote the evening meal taken to break a religious fast, most notably during the month of Ramadan. 

For ideas of what may be served at a typical Moroccan breakfast or when breaking the fast at sunset, there are several classic and traditional family foods that are served. First of all, there is no alcohol. Alcohol is forbidden in Islam. While Ramadhan is a time to be celebrant and pious, there is no alcohol to be had. 

Usually, a Ftour consists of Moroccan Pan-Fried Breads such as Msemen or Meloui with Khlii Harcha, which is a Semolina-based Flatbread. Other foods that would be served include soups for breaking with the fast, such as a very healthy and rustic herbal soup consisting of wheat base, generally mixed with milk. Another popular soup is a Hssoua Belboula, which is a barley-based soup, with Milk.

Semolina, the grain of couscous and pastas, are very well liked within Morocco. Semolina soup with milk is a very popular food that Moroccans look forward to having for Ftour. But while these foods are traditional, international foods from France are also very well received and in high demand. For example, anise and honey popular French pastries are most beloved by Moroccans. As well as almond croissants, and petit pain au chocolat chneik.

Come for a bowl of soup and a loaf of fresh bread, and spend a Layla Baydaa (Naytar) with us!

The Christians of Iraq

While the media have been focusing extensively on the rise of ISIS, the crumbling of Al-Maliki, and the Independence of a Kurdish State. There has been little focus on other groups within Iraq. Sunni and Chi3a representatives in the governments and courts have been focused on since 2003, but what about Iraq's Christian population?

Inside Dair Mar Elia - Circa 595AD

That's right. Iraq has a vein of Christian villages and mixed populations living within the vast countryside. They have a presence in Baghdad as well and have been there since the 1st Century AD.

In 2003, the Christian community numbered in 1,500,000 people. However, through war and the ineffective protection offered by the current government, this population has shrank to 400,000.

During the time of Saddam Hussein, Christians were subjected to no special sanctions. The Iraqi military stood to defend their villages against impending threats. Today, a weak democracy that hardly represents the majority has become inefficiently blinded towards this Christian population that once accounted for 7% of Iraq's population.

There are many groups of Christians within Iraq. Some urban living in Baghdad and Basra, others living rurally in Christian villages. Their bloodlines range from Assyrian roots, which have kept Aramaic intact as a language, to Armenian & Western roots. In fact, the Greek Orthodox and Catholic Churches in Iraq directly descend from the Byzantine Empire and the Crusades, respectively, which have found their way into the land of the Tigris and Euphrates.

2008 marked a turning point for this population, which had faced significant abuse and persecution since 2003. Christians started to become a prime target of extremist groups, and a souring economy caused many to flee. nearly 350,000 Iraqi Christians found their way to Syria -- seeking refuge in a country that, at that time, was stable. Unfortunately, things soon became as dangerous in Syria as in Iraq for these refugees. Christians became targets in Syria as well as in Iraq for persecution and violence. 

In 2010, violence against Christians peaked. Illicit discrimination, kidnapping, and murder were on the rise. On October 31st of that year, in Baghdad, an Assyrian Church was taken hostage during Sunday prayers by an extremist Sunni group, soon to be absorbed by ISIS. The church was taken captive with over a hundred individuals inside. 58 were killed.

As the Iraqi government grows weaker and the Iraqi army becomes less effective protecting the people of Iraq, it is possible that this group is in danger of further abuses. While the media focuses on the more glamorous attacks between sunni and Chi3a Iraqis, the Chrisitan population of Iraq suffers unnoticed and unattended. 

A Tale of Three Kings

Today in the Middle East, three countries are looking to fill the boots left over from the preceding regime: Iraq, Libya and Egypt.

Syria is still on the table, and a nearly different case. Syria has always been a divided society, but the inspiration of Tunis, Libya and Egypt have encouraged the Syrians to rise up and reclaim their previous intentions.

Saddam Hussein, Muammar Ghadaffi and Hosni Mubarak all ruled their countries for 30 years. But that is where the similarities almost entirely halt. While Ghadaffi and Saddam came to power through violence, Mubarak did not. While Mubarak and Hussein had relatively open societies, Ghadaffi isolated his people and purposely tried to hide Libya's rich connection to the Roman Empire and enhance ties towards other African post-colonial nations. 

Ghadaffi succeeded a string of events that overthrew King Idris in 1969. Saddam succeeded a well established government that came to power after brutally murdering the Hashemite King Faisal II in 1958. Mubarak ascended to power after the long reigns (and assassinations) of Anuar Saddat and Gamal Abd-El Nasser -- who in effect succeeded after the abdication of King Farouk. 

Saddam Hussein was taken out by a foreign power, put on trial before his countrymen and executed -- as per verdict of the Iraqi Tribunal. Muammar Ghadaffi was captured while hiding from his people in Libya. He was taken out, mocked and killed. His body was defiled in the desert --only a week after he confidently vowed to see each rebel die. Hosni Mubarak fled from Egypt, seeking safety in Saudi Arabia, after protests sought to remove him from power.

But these three men have a lot in common. First, they ran their countries with an iron fist. They were the elected ruler and not leaving power for any reason. Each man was comfortably known as the face of his country's government, unquestionable and above the law. Many beloved each one, and others hated -- but the ones who hated kept it private. A generation saw these men as the unquestioned leader, to think otherwise was not an option.

This sense of regularity kept order in Iraq, Libya and Egypt. Once each man was outed, a score of recognized leaders came forward to take control of the entire society. However, each factional leader claimed to have authority not recognized by the other. Even in Egypt, where Mohammad Morsi was elected by a clear majority, this was not satisfactory and he was ousted in less than a year. 

In today's world, Egypt, Iraq & Libya are all being torn up by factions. Egypt has a strong military vowing to maintain order -- but in effect, it is only prolonging the inevitable. Egyptians have not had fair representation. Not with Nasser or any other politician. King Farouk and his predecessors did not represent the people and nor did any of the long term ruling men that followed. The military can quell protests on a day's length, but are futile to remain as such. Especially as time progresses.

Iraq has a government that does not represent the people, nor will it compromise. But Al-Maliki is not strong like Saddam Hussein, and Al-Maliki is out of touch with the people. The authority of their democracy is fading. Kurdistan has announced independence, and external insurgents are capturing cities and defeating the Iraqi army. In fact, the Iraqi army is really more of the government's army than the peoples'.

Libya is facing a western pull towards democratization, against the bouts of strong militae. Each militia wants to seize power for themselves. The lack of want to reason with one another, and the elected parliament's ineffectiveness, are the results of an oppressive dictator. They will not be cured overnight.   

Libya - Democratization vs Stabilization

A war torn country in the middle of North Africa, now assembles again for a second democratic election. After thirty years of isolation and iron rule by Muammar Ghaddafi, the Libyan people have slowly been transitioning into a representative form of government.

Unfortunately, the military tensions across the Libyan deserts have created a more detrimental environment for democracy.

In 2012, over 2mm Libyans registered to vote for a representative Parliament. In 2014, the number of registered voters sits at just 1.5mm. And due to security threats, several cities have been completely cut off from the process.

Is Libya ready for a democracy? Or is democracy not something that could work beneficially for Libya? While the country is torn apart, the fighting integrates across the entire state. There are few places that have stabilized. Libyans, unlike Americans or most European nations, take their beliefs to the streets with armed militias taking action. City by city, these groups vie for control and in the event they are successful, the victors act more like raiders and less like nation builders. There is no interest among the majority of successful milita to begin sitting down and drafting constitutions of rights and judiciary law.

Likewise, there is no backing for the 200-seat proposed Libyan parliament. Without a military and ability to enforce the laws that they enact, the Parliament becomes an ineffective burden on Libyan society.

A Libyan parliament at this time, would be able to tax Libyans submitting to it's authority, in an exchange for a civil set of laws. But the Libyan parliament can only promise order. And by the strength and aptitude of opposing military groups, this promise is both foolish and futile. In essence, a Libyan government could only be putting a strain on people that it is doomed to fail.

Libya needs a strong leader with one stern voice who will establish order. Democracy will only anger this voice, in a system where the strong will have to submit to the weak and representation of the few. This will isolate the strong and in due result they will annihilate the weak. Not until centralized order can be enforced in Libya, a parliament is almost a malignant misfeasance to the stabilization of Libya.

And He Played the Fiddle While Baghdad Burned...

Most people have heard the story that, when Rome burned in 64 AD, the Emperor Nero played his fiddle as he watched the city burn all around him. While the people suffered, he drank wine and watched tranquilly out the window.

Today Baghdad is burning. Cities are falling to independent armed brigands. And while all this is going on, Nouri Al-Maliki rejects putting politics aside and forming together a unified government with the opposition. With the very people that live with him in Iraq.

Al-Maliki has served as Prime Minister of Iraq since 2006, after the ousting of Saddam Hussein. He has, therefore, been Prime Minister of Iraq for 8 years now and for the duration of the conflict.
During that time, the United States has invested billions of dollars in creating a democratic infrastructure for the diverse state located across the Fertile Crescent, having left only recently.

As insurgents have been capturing cities, much like that which is befalling Syria, Al-Maliki has asked that the United States return. Rather than work out a coalition and solution with his own government, he is seeking foreign assistance from the United States government.

In times of crises, perhaps it is necessary to work together with ones' countrymen. However, the fact that Al-Maliki feels more comfortable consulting the United States could be full proof that Iraq is too diverse a country for Al-Maliki (or any one politician) to represent.

Americans en masse are uncomfortable with a return to Iraq. There seems to be no benefit or merit in returning to a place that has so different a culture than our own. While today, with democracy, cities are falling and sites are being destroyed. And only thirty years ago, in a dictatorship, the currency of this once thriving and even cosmopolitan state was worth equivalent to the Kuwaiti Dinar -- the highest valued currency of the world.

Foreign Policy successes of Hillary Clinton

Gentlemen and Ladies -- With the upcoming election for a new president of the United States of America, we have painstakingly put together a list of all the foreign policy and diplomatic successes of Hillary Clinton. This list is meant to help educate and inform voters of their choices for whom to vote for:

1. Benghazi
2.

Overthrow the Government? Nope. World Cup Fever

Are you ready for the World Cup SEMI-Finals? That's Right. Round two is coming up, people! And this has been one of the most wild and exciting World Cups EVER!

Local Jihadi Celebrating Colombia vs Ivory Coast (2-1 Colombia)

First of all, 2010 champions, Spain, have been eliminated. Consistently losing every round, until their final match against Australia. But it was too little, too late. They will by flying home in Economy Class. The same with Italy. In an astonishing turn of events, Italy only scored twice the entire first round, losng to both Costa Rica and Uruguay. They will not be moving on. Perhaps they can split the cost of an economy group trip home with the Spanish team?

Brazil and Mexico advance in Group A. Both teams played exceptionally well, especially Mexico's defense. From Group B, Netherlands and Chile will be moving forward. Chile earned their place, fighting hard and truly showing their passions and potential to earn a spot in the second round, alongside the Netherlands which has scored the most points past the keepers of opponents. 

In Group E, France will be moving forward, and the second position is still in the air. Switzerland, Ecuador AND Honduras have a chance to make it. Argentina is moving forward in Group F, and Germany is moving ahead in Group G. The USA, which beat long term rival Ghana, has the chance still to make second place with either a tie or win against Germany. Belgium is moving forward in Group H.

How are the fans taking it so far? Quite vigorously well. Men and women of all ages have taken to the streets to pillage and celebrate welcome and unexpected victories over the previous champions. In Nigeria, after their victory over Iran, celebrations were all over the streets. Boko Haram even took the opportunity to kidnap 300 more women. 

Meanwhile in France, Marine LePen was SO moved by the Algerian win over Korea, she decided todrop her Pro-France platform and is currently seeking Algerian citizenship. However, she has not changed her position on deporting Algerians from France. In fact, she now wants a ticket for deportation herself if Algeria makes it to the Final round!

The Two State Solution

That's right. The two state solution -- and we are not talking about Israel.

Massoud Barzani - Father of Kurdistan

Iraq, war torn and ravished has allowed a people one alternative to fulfill their hope and dream :The Kurdish Homeland.

After the politics of the Iraqi democracy could not hold up against the sword of extremists, crisis returned to Iraq. In fact, the ousting of Saddam made this even inevitable but only prolonged its eventual happening. Iraq is just too diverse.

Iraqis are different. That's because their country borders were designed by a British diplomat and a French one flipping coins and drawing lines. And while many can get along with each other, the differences between some extremists create an atmosphere for catastrophe. While the existing Iraqi democracy grew more and more corrupt over the last eight years, the people became enraged. They were not being represented, and conditions became worse than under Saddam Hussein. For what did they gain from this democracy but more pain and suffering than they had before.

As soon as the United States withdrew, the extremists came forward to bully their oppressors. They clashed on racial, religious and political grounds. And this was just the right amount of fuel for one people to realize the necessity of becoming independent at last.

The Iraqi army can no longer defend Iraq against itself or foreign invaders, like ISIS. So the Kurdish people have taken up arms and are nation building. In surrounding areas, Kurds have been divided, living in Syria, Turkey and Iran. Now they are near a homeland that can take them in, on a land-locked country.

Between the Tigris and Euphrates stands one land and one people, split like the rivers, into two religions. Sunni and Chi3a. This Iraq will remain in name as Iraq. And should not split itself into two more states. Baghdad cannot be separated. The East may be more Chi3a and the West may be more Sunni, but they cannot split up. If they do, they will be easily picked off by ISIS or internal extremist groups affecting the area.The Sunni and Chi3a, left together, will work together to create a more balanced and collective government....unless another Saddam Hussein finds his way to the Palace!