Battaleon Orders Invasion of Shanghai

Crossing the Pacific Ocean for the second time in 60 years, AirForce Quackbar 303 is deployed for the aerial attack of Shanghai.

The team launched to the skies only 10 minutes after Battaleon ok'd the military invasion plans for China. The Grande Army of Battaland will begin with an invasion of Shanghai and the rest is classified from there.

Battaleon is not intimidated by the numbers that the Chinese have in their armies because the Grande Army of Battaland is far better trained and prepared for war. Not to mention, Battaland has successfully defeated the fascist forces of Battalouis XVIII and Marine LeQuac. As well as Saquack Hussein, Ayatollah Quackmeini, Donald Duck and Donald Duck Un.

Xi Jinping, President of China, was not able to deploy anti-aircraft guns in time. Most of which had been moved to Beijing, along with the bulk of the Chinese army, awaiting AirForce Quackbar 303 there. It was a slaughter, leaving over 2000 Chinese soldiers and civilians down. Battaland is not a member of NATO and therefore is not bound to target only military targets --neither is China a member.

AirForce Quackbar 303 is considered one of the best aerial fighting groups on the planet. The pilots are carefully selected at age 3, and are trained to fly and fight as a giant team of arrows. Signals and safety keep all the members together and acting as a singular entity against any threats or downfalls. The team acts as one, and while ocmmand is given to 1 duck, this changes when that duck gets tired and he moves to the end of one of the wings. Each one knows each responsibility.

Surprisingly, Donald Duck --the former dictator of North Battaland-- joined AirForce Quackbar 303 in the early 1930s. He was a noted fighter pilot, and gifted aviator.

He engaged along with Umrika against Germany in a World War. However, the fumes of the planes he flew contained high degrees of lead which may have affected his sanity over the years.

One of Donald Duck's aircraft are now on display in Quacbec in the Musee d'Aviation

3 Martyrs Spark War in China

The 3 Martyrs

After news of the death camps in China came to fruition, the world became an uproar. The injustice and genocide of Ducks is unacceptable. However, not all were limited to speech against this horror.

Three ducks from Londonistan immediately booked a flight to China. And truly it was immediate, less than 24 hours after the leaked CIQuack footage of the death camps. These three ducks, 2 brothers and 1 friend, went to the center of one of the busiest streets in Shanghai and self-ignited, exploding themselves. 243 Chinese were wounded, and 64 are confirmed dead at this time.

The Chinese government is holding Battaleon responsible. Xi Jiaping, President of China, stated that "It is the business of the Chinese people if they like Peking Duck or Crisy Orange Duck. Battaleon sparked this and China seeks compensation."

Explosion Aftermath

Battaleon has not yet responded for the acts of martyrdom. It is believed that when a group of people target your own, the ducks, it is permitted to kill them. While in Quacbec, these customs are considered more historical, in a more rustic place like Londonistan these traditions are still lived and believed in. Heaven is guaranteed as well in such a circumstance.

Londonistan is currently under the totalitarian rule of Muamar Quackdaffi, whose regime and installation was backed by Donald Duck Un, the semi-deposed former dictator of North Battaland.

The three martyred ducks' remains have not been identified in the location of the explosion and it is suspected they may never be returned home to Londonistan for a proper burial.

Stop the Genocide!

Shocking.

Tensions arise between Beijing and Quacbec after a covert group of CIQuack agents from Battaland were discovered in Macau. They had been trailed by Chinese secret service and questions regarding their espionage have surfaced.

China is demanding that Battaleon appologize for the CIQuack's clandestine operation in their country. Battaleon refuses, because their mission was not unwarranted.

Duckau - Concentration Camp, Beijing

Rumors of concentration camps in China where crimes against humanity were being carried out on ducks sounds all too much from a fictitious novel. Unfortunately, these operations and actions are going on in horrific measure in China.

Duckau. Quackshewitz. Battenwald. Right now millions of ducks are being deprived human rights and locked up in death camps within Mainland China.

Xi Jinping, the current president of the Peoples' Republic of China, refuses to acknowledge the validity of any of the photographs as anything more than quacktivist manipulation of facts. Instead, Jinping demands that Battaleon apologize and make amends to China for invading their sovereignty with illegal espionage forces.

Ducks Being Forced into Small Truck to Camps

For years, the Chinese policies towards ducks have gone under question. It has been known that several civil rights were denied to them over the last 10 years and have slowly progressed. Ducks had to write "Duck" over the windows of their shops, so people knew that it was Duck-owned. Ducks eventually lost the right to own property all-together in 2009.

In 2012, rumors surfaced that the Chinese government had approved plans for Duck camps of death. Slaughter Houses. Ones in which ducks would be rounded up, city by city, and taken in trucks and never to be seen again.

It was based off significant viability spawning from these rumors that Battaleon ordered the CIQuack to begin covert investigations. What they discovered was beyond belief. Millions of ducks being led off into small cramped trucks and taken off to die in far away camps.

Camp Guard Torturing 3 Innocent Ducks

Battaleon ordered the CIQuack to release the photos to the media, and he is now pursuing a measure with the United Nations against China for this irrefutable slaughter of innocent life.

While China is not saying anything and standing firm on their position that they demand an apology from Battaleon, in Quacbec things are different. From his palace, Versailles, Battaleon is already stating that Battaland is the Realm of All Battas. And if China wishes to enslave and slaughter their own kind, then Battaland will not stand idle.

Breaking News - Greece Defaults on Debts

The Greek Economy

In a stunning move that will lead to the inevitable dismemberment of the Euro, Greece has officially announced that it will default on its debt.

While even yesterday the government was assuring German and other Eurozone members that it would not default, today Greece told another saga. At the steps outside the National Bank in Athens, Yanis Varoufakis, Greece's Minister of Finance, made a surprising statement to the world. Greece will in fact default on its national debts.

Right now, Greece has about $245,000,000,000 in debts which is about 175% of their GDP. The debt is calculated in US dollars, which is currently very strong against the Euro. Changes in the Eurozone banking metric have led to the US dollar's appreciation of over 33% against the Euro. This move, while beneficial to countries like Germany, has only contributed to making things worse for countries like Greece.

While defaulting on debt is a sore subject for any actor in the global sphere, it is very unlikely that Greece will be in the dark for long. Researchers and eager investors will see that the Euro is far too strong a currency for Europe. The dynamic between Greek rural living and cosmopolitan German living has been given far too much stress on the elasticity of a union.

The Euro is now on a final plunge, perpetuated by Greece. In the long run this will be very beneficial, and Greece has begun a process to free Europe from the shackles of a currency that has brought more harm than help to its intended benefactors

Fidel Castro & One Direction Sue Hillary Clinton over Logo

Logo

A joint-action law suit was filed today by two foreign national representatives against US Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton. The two action seekers, Fidel Castro and One Direction, have teamed up to reclaim Clinton's logo as an effort of infringement of their own original ideas.

"It's just too coincidental," said Fidel Castro, "Just look at her logo. This is the Cuban flag, only re-branded for a campaign."

Castro appreciates America's more open stance towards Cuba since 2014, however, he does not appreciate the Cuban flag being used for the next Democratic presidential nominee. "I understand that Obamacrats want to have an America more like Cuba. But hey, that's our flag. Get your own!"

Likewise, another foreign group has had issues with Hillary's logo. And that group is the popular band One Direction. Stephen Arthur Burgess, Esq is representing the singers in their lawsuit and is dually licensed to practice law in both the United Kingdom and the United States.

"It does not take much to realize what's going on here," stated Burgess, "the arrow is going in 'One Direction' and let us not forget that my clients are called 'One Direction' so the answer should be clear. If her logo was a giant 'U2' then how could she not expect a lawsuit from the group 'U2' we are confident that we will win this court case."

"I'm not sure yet"

When Hillary Clinton was approached to comment on the lawsuit, she responded that she has no idea why they were suing her as a 'Presidential Candidate' because she has not decided to run yet.

Zain Joins ISIS

Zain Malik

Popular singer from One Direction, Zain Malik, announced recently that he would be leaving the group. With much sadness fans around the world wonder what the next step is for Zain?

Well, like several hundred other British citizens, Zain has answered a higher calling. He's saying goodbye to Elisabeth and heading East to Baghdad to join ISIS (Da3ch). His bags are packed and he is ready to commit himself to fighting the good fight.

Although Zain was born in the West and is accustomed to the ways of life that Europeans & Americans live, he has been inspired by the youthful movement going on in the Middle East. This has helped Zain choose exactly where he wants to go for his next big gig - ISIS : Operation Damascus. 

"The training was intense at first, but now I can really build the best missiles you ever saw!" remarked Zain to the associated press that were able to interview him after Cheikh Mahmoud Ibrahimi discussed exchanging several Swiss prisoners for money.

Zain Malik

The group is saddened by their fellow member's leaving to fight in the Middle East, but not everyone in the spotlight supports Zain's decision to follow his heart to ISIS. Outspoken critics, such as Marine LePen, have stated that it is a terrible thing (perhaps she is jealous of Zain).

LePen told us : "Don't you understand, this is not a career move. Hundreds of youths across Europe are leaving to the Middle East to join ISIS. And when they come back they are harming our societies. Europe, we need to wake up!"

Regardless of some conflicting opinions, all are wishing Zain the best of luck in his new ventures, and certainly One Direction will no longer be the same.

The Importance of Love

We are all humans and live at this exact moment together.

Because we function, we therefore function as one entity. Each of us side by side has a role to play in this magnificent instrument known as the Earth.

If we sour ourselves, we will sour those around us. We negatively affect the status of the energy of our world and make it negative.

However, just as easily as emitting negative energy we can initiate positive energy and allow positive thoughts to surround us.

Each positive day we live is a brick towards building a positive year. And each positive year we enjoy is a step further towards a positive life, an edifice completed with our death.

Just like how construction stops when a building is finished being built, our lives stop at our deaths. And just like how people remark at a beautifully designed building, so to will people remark at a life that has brought them alike positive happiness.