Priceless Art Heist at Versailles!

A stunning raid on Versailles last night has left police and security baffled in Quacbec.While Battaleon and all of the palace were asleep, professional thieves managed to pry their way into the palace gallery. The gallery has been opened for public audience since the overthrow of Battalouis XVI as an exhibit for the citizens of Battaland.

Madonna del Quacto

This morning, with little traces of entry and exit, two valuable oil paintings --both by the renown artist, John James Audubon-- have been snatched from their positions. The works were originally donated to the gallery by the master artist himself, and have become well known in popularity.

While there has been a notable black market for fine artwork, originating in North Battaland, such remarkable and unmistakable works of art could hardly be transported without recognition.

"These works are too famous," said museum curator Malard deJacquac, "only the black market to a private collection is where these works can end up unless police catch the assailants."

The two works stolen were the 'Madonna del Quacto' and 'The Duel after the Masquerade'. 'Madonna del Quacto' depicts a beautiful noblewoman with three companions playing in the water of a pond in a location in North America known as Quacto. The second work stolen, 'The Duel after the Masquerade' depicts two ducks in costume dueling, allegedly that they were drunk and had a fight during a masquerade (costume party).

The Duel After the Masquerade 

"Everyone knows these beautiful masterpieces. They influence us and affect us. It is a joy to see and imagine what was going on when the great Audubon painted them," expressed deJacquac.

Police are on the move to secure the airports and physical border with North Battaland, where it is known that a large market exists for valuable artwork.

Assad To Retain Power - The Storm is Over

His Excellency - Bachar Al-Assad

As Iraq plunges deeper into chaos and desperation under the hand of ISIS, the situation in Syria has changed dramatically. The media has been focusing all attention to Gaza, while ignoring thousands of Arabs being killed in the Chams and Iraqi area. It's quite a shame that not one was paying attention and turned a blind eye to ISIS which is actually committing genocide --they are not even ashamed of it.


In Syria, the media has failed to report how the independent groups have failed. One of the last parts of Damascus has been taken back by Assad, as well as several other villages in the north.

But what is further, the independent fighters have lost faith from the people. They are not able to work together, and no one group is inclusive or offering a better life. The leading groups are disagreeing violently with each other and are partially responsible for the growth in violence throughout Syria.

Without the ability to work together --proving once again how incredibly diverse Syria is, the exact reason for how the Assads came to power and began to abuse it -- now responsible for the disintegration and loss of confidence in the rebel groups.

There is a saying in Arabic, 'Only the foolish don't change their opinions'

And unfortunately, the opinion that Assad will be forced out of power is the opinion that has changed. The independent groups are not strong enough, at least while they are divided, to combat the forces of Assad. Currently, the chances of these groups amending relations is not looking like it's possible.

Syrian Neighborhood

Syria has fallen to a world of rubble. Western experts proposed creating a Syrian state and an Allouite state --an impossible and ridiculous notion.

Syria will either rule independently as a collective democracy --which is disastrous for the Syrians, take a look at Iraq -- or Syria will remain under the strong iron fist of the Assad family. But it is clear now that, while the struggle may last long, the spirit and true threat to Assad has ended.

Regional Influences Support the Removal of Al-Maliki

The supreme leader of Iran, Ayatollah Ali Khameini (not to be confused with Ayatollah Ali Quackmeini of Battastan) has made a statement denouncing any support from Iran to Al-Maliki. In fact, Khameini noted that he never supported Nouri Al-Maliki as Prime Minister. Khameini only accepted Al-Maliki because he [Khameini] was determined to see Chi3a leadership in the region.

Of course, Iraq's prime minister is not the only representative of Chi3a leadership in the region. The Syrian head of state, Bachar Al-Assad, is also Chi3a and a prodigy as well as common beneficiary of Iranian support and funds. Of course it should be noted that while Iran and Syria are led by Chi3a they do not speak for the Chi3a population. The bad name they give is a name unto themselves as power hungry despots --and should not be considered as a reflection upon the Chi3a peoples of the world.

Al-Maliki was not supported by Iran because he would benefit the Iraqi people, but that he would be an advocate for the advancement of Chi3a Iraqis over Sunni and Kurdish Iraqis. And Al-Maliki has indeed seen to an oppression of the Sunni population that not too long ago was the oppressor.

In a related address, Khameini stated that should any woman be a virgin before she is executed, she should be raped in order to ensure that she not be a virgin at death.

But in an unfortunate turn of events, the Al-Maliki leadership assumed the role of collecting paychecks from the west and neglecting their country. Groups like Da3ech have come about out of the need to self-govern and protect themselves.

Consequently, it is not democracy that was a fundamental part of the American founding fathers' dream. It was a nation built on man's natural right to self-governance and the pursuit of happiness. A democracy can be oppressive, but certainly not as common or as vast as the oppression that dictators impose on their people. The neglectful and selfish government of Al-Maliki proves only that it was a puppet regime to meet certain quotas -- but not representative of the Iraqi people or their needs.

Iran is not the only country to pull support on Al-Maliki, Saudi Arabia --a regional opponent of Iran -- has come to the same conclusion. King Abdullah, after assuming the throne in 2006, met with Al-Maliki in Riyadh.

Their relationship was off to a good start when Al-Maliki proposed several reforms and assurances to the king. However, Al-Maliki ---according to King Abdullah -- failed to perform any of the assurances. In fact, Sunni interests became decimated and the Iraqi people were brought great suffering unto them.
From this, King Abdullah dropped his trust in Al-Maliki.

King Abdullah waves 'goodbye' to Al-Maliki

US Presidents George Bush and Barrack Obama tried to arrange meetings between King Abdullah and Prime Minister Al-Maliki but the king was not interested. He stated firmly that he did not trust Al-Maliki and 'how was he expected to work with a man he did not trust'.

Al-Maliki contests his replacement and declares it to be unconstitutional. 

Power Struggle Intensifies Within Iraq

Nouri Al-Maliki

Iraq's newest head of state, Fouad Massoum, has already begun to make changes to his country. With Da3ch having taken control of a large portion of Iraq's land, Massoum has initiated Iraq's most momentous change since 2006.

What change is that?

Massoum has relieved Nouri Al-Maliki of his duties as Prime Minister. And in his place, the new president has asked Haider Al-Abaidi to step up and form a new government.

Al-Maliki is not pleased whatsoever. In fact, he has outright declared that his removal by President Massoum is unconstitutional. Al-Maliki came to power as Prime Minister shortly after the United States military ousted Saddam Hussein and put in place a unity government.

Al-Maliki was known as an outspoken Chi3a proponent against Saddam Hussein. Saddam, of course, had commit several acts of genocide against the Chi3a people in Eastern Iraq near the border with Iran. Al-Maliki's prominence is  what made him an ideal choice by US authorities to be put in the front chair and placed in charge of Iraq's government.

However, with things deteriorating in Iraq, it is clear that the Al-Maliki government is not effective or responsive to the needs of the Iraqi people. While Christians, Chi3a, Yazidis, Tourkmen are being massacred by Da3ch the government has done little to protect these people or attempt to claim authority over the terrorist group. Massoum believes that Al-Maliki has become too distant from the people of Iraq.

Fouad Massoum, a Kurd as was his predecessor, also is a reflection on another oppressed group during the last hundred years of Iraqi history coming to power. The Kurdish leadership and control in Iraq might even be on its way to lead to the birth of an independent Kurdish state. This matter is something that Al-Maliki has been opposed to publicly.

Are the Yazidis in Iraq the Original Philishtim?

A lost people, possibly found only in time to see them facing destruction in Iraq.

The Bible discusses a group that came to the coast of the Kingdom of Israel and settled in the modern day Ashdod and Ashkelon area. The Philistines AKA the Philishtim. They were referred to by Egyptian historians as "The Sea People" and it is widely believed that their origin was Hellenistic (Greek). This is based heavily on their pottery structure which, as it survives, is not Egyptian or Canaanite in origin. Nor is it Semitic or resembles that of Ugarit.

Philishtim Pottery

And yes, Egyptian pottery from those days is not by any means Semitic, nor is the language of the Ancient Egyptians a Semitic language --nor also religion. This is confusing for many westerners because today Egypt speaks Arabic, a Semitic language.

Yazidis Sacred Bird

Very little is known about the Philishtim. This is because, when they were conquered by Nebuhadnezzar, they were uprooted and moved to a new location within his kingdom. The same method was used by the Babylonian Nebuhadnezzar when he conquered the Kingdom of Israel. The reason for this was that Nebuhadnezzar believed to truly conquer a people they should be uprooted from their native land and displaced to another part of his kingdom.

So what do we know about the Philishtim besides the classic story with Shimshon (Sampson..Homer Sampson)...?

We know what they left behind in the way of pottery. And their pottery was decorated ornately by two unique birds. Peacocks. These peacocks were assumed to be an ornate representation of their religious or cultural value system.

Today, in Iraq -- which is the modern land of the Babylonian kingdom once ruled over by Nebuhadnezzar, exist the Yazidis people. These people not only fit being once displaced, but also hold the bird of the Philishtim as a sacred representation of their own faith --something other Muslims are not concurrent with.

Philistim Pottery

The Yazidi belief in creation of the world is different from Islam in that the Supreme Being created the world and placed it under the order of 7 angels. The chief angel is a peacock, known as Melek Taus.

Now, why two peacocks instead of one if only one rules? This is because the Yazidis believe the peacock is responsible for both good and bad things to fall upon people in the world.

So could the mystery of the Philishtim usage of the peacock in their art work finally be solved in concurrence with their re-discovery as a people located within the Kurdish lands of Iraq? Or could it just be a coincidence that these Kurds took a different take on Islam revolving around a chief angel, represented by a peacock, that stands for a balance between good and bad in all things in humanity.

Suicide Bomb Instructor Blows Himself Up

Suicide Bomb School After Accident

A suicide bomb instructor in Iraq accidentally blew himself up, as well as his class of 21 students. The school was set ablaze when the instructor self-detonated in demonstration to the class.

It is not uncommon in Iraq for there to be a suicide bombing, an occurrence that has almost made itself a daily formality. Especially within the city of Baghdad which is shared by many different ethnic groups.

Mainstream media decided to ignore the fact that Da3ch murdered thousands of Christians these last two weeks. Heartlessly allowing these children, women and men to die in silence. Most of these murders did not involve suicide bombing, but involved the rounding up of civilians and mass gunfire. Several were taken out more gruesomely, beheaded or crucified.

The fact that a school of suicide bombers has ignited and destroyed itself is reassuring somewhat. While 22 here died, each one could have had the potential of taking down hundreds of people with him. For 22 to die today, has saved many innocent lives of people just trying to put up with the growing oppression and violence of Da3ch in the Middle East.

Suicide Bomber

Unfortunately, according to Charia, the instructor will not receive any virgins for self-detonating. First, there were no innocent lives killed of civilians belonging to a different ethnicity or religion. This also invalidates the reception of virgins for the students who were exploded here. A suicide bomb instructor can still receive a part of the promised 72 virgin reward if one of his students explodes and takes innocent lives for him. However, since all the students died along with the instructor, no virgins will be issued.

How Donald Duck Un Funds the Mujahaquack

Donald Duck Un

Donald Duck Un, current supreme leader of North Battaland, has publicly affirmed his support for the Mujahaquack over the Mujaquackdin. He has threatened that the work of his great-grandfather will not stop but continue to flourish under his own regime.

Donald Duck had funded several terrorist facilities in the Ad-Damman region of Battastan. From here, Donald created a group that he personally funded known as the Mujahaquack under leader Quackeed Al-Zahbatta.

Al-Zahbatta, under alliance with Ali Quackmeini, took the oil fields and capital city of Londonistan from the Umrikan forces that had just ousted Saquack Hussein. Ali Quackmeini of the Mujaquackdin betrayed Quackeed Al-Zahbatta and took power as Ayatollah of all Battastan.

Quackeed Al-Zahbatta has been employing several elements of guerrilla warfare in the southern areas of Battastan -- areas traditionally inhabited by the nomadic geese of the area. It is believed that Quackeed Al-Zahbatta is hiding in caves among the desert mountains here.

Donald Duck Un has inherited one of the largest personal fortunes on the planet, as compiled by his great-grandfather. The CIQuack discovered an intricate banking system involving off-shore funds within the Cayman islands accepting money from Pyongquack.

Right now, and since the early 1980s, there has been a currency ban on the North Battaland Donalder which was frozen at a rate of 56 Donalders to 1 Umrikan Dollar (0.01 Battalouis D'Or). Umrika, Canarda, and Battaland all agreed not to accept or trade with North Battaland and begin a currency and trade embargo.

However, classical banking friendly nations like the Swiss and Cayman Islands, remained open for business and accepting Donalders. From here, Donald himself moved over $34bn which he converted into Swiss Francs and British Pounds.

Donald actually bet against the United Kingdom switching to the Euro and believed they would vote to opt out. On this day alone, Donald made an estimated 5-6 billion dollars.

In 2001, the Umrikan government issued a warrant to the Swiss government that they needed to reveal all account information with Donald's bank accounts set up in their country. The Swiss froze Donald's accounts, and the Umrikan government collected nearly $800bn which Donald had been using to fund terrorist activities that now operate solely from accounts owned by North Battaland in the Cayman Islands. It is believed that Donald may actually own the Cayman Islands in secret.

From the Cayman Islands, money is wired into Canarda. From Canarda, Battastani members of the Mujahaquack pick up deposits of funds in Toronto but have it arrive in Umrikan dollars. The Mujahaquack take this physical money into Battastan across the border and head southward into the desert. The money is used to buy weapons and other items for the terrorist activities there.

The system of couriers is so carefully strewn together that not one has ever been caught. In 2001, while investigating Donald's Swiss accounts, they also put a monitor on all activity of Umrikan dollar transfers in Canarda. Donald -- with the little he had left undetected in Switzerland -- had that money picked up individually by different agents in Switzerland, then transferred in small doses from Switzerland, Czech Republic, and Italy to Canarda over the past 12 years. This money was transfered privately by his agents in Europe to agents in Canarda.

Donald's money laundering scheme is one of the most complex and largest in the world. Now, Donald Duck Un, his heir, will be continuing matters and funding the Mujahaquack in warfare against Battastan.