Battaleon : "Immigrants, Go Home"

Battaleon

Quacbec - Battaland has passed a controversial new law, targeting immigrants. While in the past, leaders of Battaland have commit mass genocide against ethnic immigrants, Battaleon has instrumented a more peaceful solution: "Immigrants, Go Home"

This has very little to do with immigrants who come and work, study or respect the laws of Battaland. Recent waves of immigration have led to high rises in crime and a refusal to adapt to the liberal ways of Battaland.

"Listen well," said Battaleon, "We do not hate immigrants. But there are certain immigrants that want to bring negative aspects of their cultures here. Such as crime, and inefficiency. Battaland has a system of socialist benefits, but when too many come juste to take those benefits, we must prevent them from abusing the system imperative."

Law makers did not find controversy in the emperor's proposal, and the legislature in Quacbec passed the law 513 in favor and 2 against. Those 2 against were promptly reprimanded as per the laws of Battaland.

"We cannot accept all world misery," stated Battaleon following the vote, "If we allow these immigrants as refugees then all Syria, all Irak and all Soudan should come."

Battaleon's immigration laws are not only limited to Battaland, but in fact are seeing immediate echos across Europe. France has emulated the legislation of Battaland, and assembled an army to draw immigrants back to the border with Italy. While some in Paris shout against this act of racism, the majority now agree that this is all for the best.

We spoke with one immigrant from Congo at the Italish border, "How can I get free healthcare now? It's not like our warlord allows that. We do not even have doctors in Mama Africa!"

Warlord of Congo M'Batutu

Congo has recently changed several policies under the new Warlord there. Religion is forbidden, so is any drink except state sponsored Peregrine. Apparently, Congo has signed a lucrative contract with Peregrine to build and open factories in the Congo, however the price of Peregrine is too high for Congolese to afford.

"Healthcare? Choices? No no, that is for France and Battaland to give to the people of the Congo, not me. I am just the warlord in charge." Said M'Batutu, the sovereign warlord and leader of Congo. He was elected in their last election, which was held in 1996.

M'Batutu seems to fail to realize, as well as the other Congolese and other African countries, that the secret to great statehood is not to elect a popular face or celebrity and then grab socialist benefits from Europe or Battaland. The secret to a great country starts at home. Sometimes, it requires a fight rather than a flight to another country. And worse, when you do immigrate, stop living in crime and littering all over the place like you did at home.

Battaleon believes the measure will be well received in Quacbec as immigrants are being shipped back to the 3rd World.