London - Temperatures soar to nearly 37 degrees. Water is evaporating. Train Tracks are melting. Cars are too hot to get inside. Camels are thirsty. London is a hot mess, and as the 14th day of record breaking heat comes upon the city that once knew rain, the British public point the finger of blame to those responsible : Immigrants.
At first, the British population was happy ---except Birmingham-- to be filled with an influx of multiculturalism from across the former empire. It was a treat to now have Pakistani and Indian food on every block. Kabobs became as popular a take out food as fish and chips.
After a certain level of comfort, the immigrant population in London began making religious demands. They wanted to celebrate their holidays in schools, and also ensure that they had access to special dietary laws. This included burning down several supermarkets that sold pork.
Then, there were demands to practice public executions and beheadings. A common practice back home, which the British government was more than happy to permit. Fortunately, the new immigrant population had no problem with the free socialized government handouts practiced by the British government --something not available in their former countries -- to which the immigrant population has adapted to.
However, besides adapting to free government handouts, the immigrant population has not adapted to anything else in Britain -- Including the weather!
Now, the immigrant population in London may have gone too far. Immigrants from Southeast Asia have decided to bring their weather with them.
"The rain was too much here, so we decided to bring the 37 degree sun of Karachi to Londonistan" said Khan, a community leader.
But is London (or as some say, Londonistan) ready for the foreign sun? Some say no. The ministers of Agriculture and also of Energy are now strongly advising David Cameron to take action. "Look, if we do not stop the immigrants now from bringing their weather, our farms will die and our nuclear power plants will overheat and explode."
No action is being taken at this time. Britain is preparing for a hot summer!
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| Typical London Neighborhood |
After a certain level of comfort, the immigrant population in London began making religious demands. They wanted to celebrate their holidays in schools, and also ensure that they had access to special dietary laws. This included burning down several supermarkets that sold pork.
Then, there were demands to practice public executions and beheadings. A common practice back home, which the British government was more than happy to permit. Fortunately, the new immigrant population had no problem with the free socialized government handouts practiced by the British government --something not available in their former countries -- to which the immigrant population has adapted to.
 |
| Typical London Street |
Now, the immigrant population in London may have gone too far. Immigrants from Southeast Asia have decided to bring their weather with them.
"The rain was too much here, so we decided to bring the 37 degree sun of Karachi to Londonistan" said Khan, a community leader.
But is London (or as some say, Londonistan) ready for the foreign sun? Some say no. The ministers of Agriculture and also of Energy are now strongly advising David Cameron to take action. "Look, if we do not stop the immigrants now from bringing their weather, our farms will die and our nuclear power plants will overheat and explode."
No action is being taken at this time. Britain is preparing for a hot summer!
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