lundi 11 mai 2015

Culture Clash - Why the White House Does Not Understand that a Nuclear Deal with Iran is a Bad Thing

Originally, US President Barak Obama, pledged $50,000,000,000 to Iran in regards to the nuclear talk. This is nearly triple the amount of money allotted to the Obamacare program. The United States and Iran have been more than dissident for the past 30 years over political strife.

Right now, the US is prepared to pledge $11,000,000,000 to Iran. What does the US want in return? That Iran will turn off their nuclear program. Iran and the US are still negotiating but it seems in all likelihood that they will accept an offer similar to this.

Accepting the offer and satisfying the terms are two separate matters that the US is not culturally prepared to understand. The culture of the United States interprets this as a business arrangement. Very similar to negations with a general contractor. The essence of that conversation is : "I, the United States, will give you xyz dollars if you can complete a certain job that I want done. I, the United States, have money. You (Iran) want money. I, the United States, want a particular job done. You (Iran) have the particular ability to complete it."

The cultural logic of the United States is very straightforward. It descends from several hundred years of democratic belief and the notion of liberty that assumes man wants to live his own way and needs capital to do so.

Iranian cultural logic is not like this. In fact, it is not even parallel to this line of thinking.

First, Iran is not a Middle Eastern country. Neither is Pakistan. And Iran and Pakistan are very different from each other. It is hard for Westerners to conceptualize this because they associate Iran with Islam and a warm climate.

Iran is, as best to describe, a Central Asian country. Similar to Uzbekistan or Azerbaijan. The thinking here and culture is different from a Middle Eastern country, like Saudi Arabia. More on Saudi Arabia later.

The cultural logic of Iran can be summarized in the Western expression "to have one's cake and eat it, too". Iran conceptualizes that the United States is not offering them money to necessarily stop the nuclear program, but the United States is offering them money to PLEDGE to stop the nuclear program for a decade. Their negotiation will certainly structure payments to come in full and immediately, because they have no intention of stopping their own nuclear program. The reason for that is Iran wants a nuclear program, and the obstacle presented by the US to stop their activities is in no way different than the obstacle of obtaining Uranium 232 in the first place.

Negotiations between the US and Iran are bound by the American presidential elections which Iran knows are coming in a year. It is almost certain that the US will not stop negotiating, seeing time spent thus far as an investment, until the election comes when they will have no power to continue, Iran's goal is to exhaust out the US negotiating team until reaching the highest monetary payoff. In order to do this, Iran will be accentuate what nuclear terms they are willing and not willing to accept, but this is just a bargaining chip to maximize cashout.

Once Iran has convinced the US to hand over their money, they will find a loop hole and continue work on their nuclear program with an extra $11bn and the benefits resulting from a brief period of time of relaxed economic sanctions.

Returning to the issue of Saudi Arabia, here is yet another cultural logic that the White House is overlooking. Saudi Arabia is a loyal ally to the United States and furthermore KSA sees itself as a loyal ally to the United States. The way the government of Saudi Arabia sees this negotiation is that in return for Saudi's years of loyalty, support, and cooperation with the United States, the United States is now looking to negotiate a non-appreciative pact with Saudi's biggest enemy in the region.

How has the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia responded to the rather gauche actions of the United States? Saudi has engaged in a hot war in Yemen against Iranian supported Chi3a forces. Saudi has also made substantial contributions to ISIS in order to fight Chi3a militias funded by Iran. Saudi has also entered into negotiations with Turkey to support the Sunni forces in Syria and oust Iranian supported Bachar Al-Assad.

It may be a lot at once, but Saudi Arabia is in fact targeting Iran's infrastructure within the Middle Eastern theater. This is mostly because Saudi Arabia feels deceived by the United States and has lost confidence in the United States' ability to influence the region towards a mutual Saudi-American agenda.

Saudi Arabia pulled out of US talks with Iran, and it is believed that the other gulf countries will begin a more outspoken pushback towards US policy in the region.

Realizing that the US is losing a big ally in the Middle East, the United States planned to host several Arab nations at Camp David. However, Saudi Arabia's King Salman has stated that he will not be going, and it is very unlikely that he will change his mind. The entire purpose of this meeting was for the Obama Administration to repair relations with Saudi Arabia. However, this is no longer a possibility.

The United States needs to realize that it was a mistake to negotiate with Iran. Iran has no interest in stopping their nuclear program but has an interest in relaxing economic sanctions and seizing US capital. Another cultural clash is that America's loyal ally, Saudi Arabia, feels disrespected and deceived over the Iran talks and is not interested in making up with the current Obama administration. Hopefully, these issues can be remedied within the next executive administration and the United States can repair relations with old allies instead of fall into a trap with an old enemy.

mercredi 6 mai 2015

Government of Battaleon Solidifies Petroleum Deal with Battastan

Le Duck de Beri & Cheikh Quaqbari
As Battaleon is vigorously overlooking the hot conflict between China and Battaland in Versailles Palace, the economic demand both civilly and militarily for petroleum has not settled. Comte Vitor Quacstierre, the Duck de Beri and Minister of Foreign Affairs, was sent by Battaleon to the remote areas of Battastan to make an agreement with the petroleum companies there.

"Battaland is a Nation of 1001 Lakes. But today our people demand oil and not water." Said the Duck de Beri.

The Duck de Beri has finalized terms for the import of 2 million barrels of petroleum a day into Battaland from Battastan's largest oil producer, Cooperative Petroleum. Cheikh Moustapha Quaqbari, CEO of Cooperative Petroleum, has created a joint venture with Battaland and is reissuing his corporate stock under the name Batta Cooperative Petroleum Union.

"We are looking forward to working for many years with the ducks north of the desert" said Cheikh Quaqbari, who is also the prince of the region.

Battaland believes that petroleum will help in developing an industrial advantage in the area. Many factories run on nuclear power, which is very costly. But critics of petroleum say that Battaland should be investing more in nuclear power.

"Nuclear power is the future. The elements have so much energy, we need to invest in putting smaller amounts of uranium and plutonium to work for the benefit of creating low emission effective energy."

For the time being, petroleum will be the life blood of Battaland and is bringing Battastan closer together with its neighbor.

Battaland Petroleum, or BP, is currently the only chartered agency to import and distribute oil in Battaland. It is a government organization, chaired by the Duck de Beri.

Marine LePen Reclaims Prague in Millenial "Anschluss"

Marine in Prague
As part of Marine LePen's plan to return France to her former day of glory, the politician has made a special trip to Prague. Prague, and more particularly the Sudetenland, are historically part of the Empire of Charlemagne and were hosted by both Napoleon and the French Resistance in the Second World War.

Marine believes that Prague should allow itself to become a protectorate of New France, and under her regime she will restore to Prague the rights and benefits of French Citizenship.

She has also thought of a new name for the neo-classical city : Frague. "We must combine the rich and cultured histoire of France with the former French city of Prague, We shall call you Frague"

Critics of Marine say that she is not the president of France and therefore should not be issuing edicts to take control of other countries. Marine counters that Frague is not another country but a part of the Empire Francais that has been separated by the German threat.

"The only reason why Frague is not a part of France today is because of Islamic immigration to Europe." Marine commented.

We asked several people in Prague if they were ready to become a part of France, but all were surprised and did not consider the question seriously. "We are Czech. We are not French and do not have plans to be French" said Alice Jostasa, a resident of Prague, "France? We just ended a relationship with Slovakia and are not about to start one with France. We don't even use Euros here!" Said Guaso Clivor, Prague resident.

 Marine will be returning to Paris in a week